So I thought I'd give you my grizzly story!
I had been with my boyfriend for about a year when I found out I was pregnant. I'd just gotten back from a festival the week before I found out, with lots and lots of drinking, so I went out of my mind thinking It might have been harmed. My first check up I expressed my concern to my midwife and she assured me that baby was fine. I quit drinking at smoking asap swapping it for J2o's and wham bars. Andy (bf) and I had had plenty of fun (we could have had a lot more!) but our unexpected pregnancy couldn't have made us happier. It took Andy a couple of days to come around to it which included a night of him on the JD and coke peed out of his mind. But it wasn't long before he was telling the world with a smile on his face that he was going to be a daddy.
I was 19, a little young maybe but ready. I had absolutely no sickness through my pregnancy, barring the nauseous feeling i got when i smelt poultry or cigs, which made it very easy to give up smoking!! So I glided through most of it thinking "Who the heck said this was hard". Trust me, later on Karma smacked me in the face.
My belly did grow pretty rapidly but I think that was mainly down to my appetite. Before pregnancy I was a size 8/10, because I never could eat very much. After pregnancy, I was very nearly sz18. Once I made Andy go down to the fish and chip shop and order me a large chips and a jumbo sausage. I ate it all. And I ate Andys share too. Unheard of back in the day! This is my lardy bum at 17 weeks and 25 weeks.
So, apart from stupid bad heartburn and hating the smell of poultry and fags, it was plain sailing. That is, until I went into labour. I actually have a very high pain threshold. I grew up with 3 boys not only beating on each other but a lot of the time me too so I'm quite used to pain. I'd like to appease you now by saying 'oh my gosh it was the worst pain in the world, I'm never doing that again, oh please no, dear god no'. But I'm sorry to tell you it just didn't hurt that much. I went into labour on what I thought would be my due date (silly midwives) 26th May while I was watching Britain's Got Talent. I didn't want to say anything yet though because i'd had some braxton hicks before and so I just carried on as normal, and so did Andy...asking me to make him Sausage casserole, get him a cup of tea and could I take out the trash while I'm at it. Lovely partner I got eh?
It wasn't until I went to bed that I thought. "yep this is it. get your coat". I tried to wake Andy up after realising I'd been getting contractions every 6-7minutes. However, he didn't really believe me and just went back to sleep. I dunno what he thought would happen at the end of my pregnancy but he didn't quite believe a baby would pop out!
So I phone up my mother in law at 7am after watching really bad telly and informed her her son was being an idiot and she had to come over right now!! We were living on the border of Cornwall then, and I wanted to give birth in Plymouth hospital which meant having to go across the ferry but lucky for me the ferry men saw I was having contractions and we went at lightening speed and were the first off the ferry! woo! Course then we got to the hospital and I was only 2cm dilated. Bastards.
After much waiting around I was finally led to a room to get more comfortable. And after this, things get a bit hazy. I only had gas and air for the most part, eventually managed to get an epidural...three times. Bastard anesthetist! And two days later Oscar Riley was born!
Now, I did promise you some Karma. So, although I didn't suffer too much during the birth, the afterbirth was HORRENDOUS!!
My placenta refused to come out of it's own accord so I was wheeled off to another room, the anesthetist handed me hard drugs like they were digestive biscuits and some bloke walks in, doesn't even bother giving me a 'Hello' and proceeds to stick his hand where it doesn't belong and starts pulling out my insides. I get handed some more hard drugs every time i so much as looked slightly displeased which I didn't really mind too much, but I did mind that I though this stranger with his hand -did I say hand? I meant ARM- up my minnie was practically trying to pull out my dinner while I lay there all uncomely and sweaty and tired. I just wanted to sleep dagnamit!
After that was over and done with i'm wheeled off to the recovery room where I can no longer keep my eyes open and start to drift off. Of course Karma wasn't done yet. For about 2 hours I wasn't allowed any water despite the fact that I hadn't had so much as a sip in 2 days and I literally thought I might die.
And yet, Karma wasn't finished with me yet. To top it off I had suspected Pre-eclampsia and was anaemic and had to stay in the very dull hospital for a week before they were convinced I was fine and let me go home.
I finally made it out alive, and I went home to a lovely clean house (Andy finally bucked his ideas up!) had a cup of tea and started out our lives as a family. We've had our ups and our downs, and we may be young parents but we're having fun and wouldn't change it for the world
Let me know your gruesome story!!!
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